Who do I think I am?

So many times in life you hear people negatively say, “Just who do you think you are?” Well, I wanted to ask myself that question, but in a more serious sense. I went through years of my life living based on other peoples thoughts and opinions of how THEY thought I should live. I never stopped to think of what I really wanted. I was told what was appropriate to wear, the type of person I should date, what I was good at, what I wasn’t good at, what music to listen to, how I should be as a significant other, how I should be as a daughter and sister, what job would be respectable and acceptable, and so on.  It’s no wonder I hadn’t had any successful relationships. I didn’t even know who I was, what I wanted, what I liked, and what would make me happy! It wasn’t until I was completely miserable with my job, done months of complaining, and literally had a crying breakdown that my sister sat me down and asked me probably the most important questions anyone has ever asked.  She asked “What do you want to do in life? What would make you happy?” WOW!!! Such simple questions that you think would have a direct and simple response.  I just sat there but could not come up with an answer.  It was almost as if I didn’t know how to think for myself! I wondered to myself “How can I be happy if I don’t know what would make me happy?”. I had to do some SERIOUS soul searching.

What were the steps I took?

1.  I bought a journal.  Never in my life had I had a journal so I didn’t even know where to begin. My first journal entry was introducing myself to myself. I would ask questions and answer them as truthfully as possible. When I didn’t know what I truly wanted in that area of my life, or when I wanted to change what life currently looked like, I would write my ideal situation and was specific as possible.  Some questions I asked were:

 What is your favorite color?
How do you like your hair?
What is your favorite style of clothing?
What kind of music do you like?
What is your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
What would your ideal career entail?
What do you LOVE to do?
What relaxes you?
What gets you excited?
What do you love about yourself?
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
How much money do you want to make in a year?
How do you want people to treat you?
What is important to you in a relationship?

2.   I put myself on a study program.  I knew that I wanted to be a successful, independent adult, but did not know how to make that happen.  I read book after book on success and successful people.  Some influential books included:
“Think and Grow Rich “ Napoleon Hill
“The Law of Success” Napoleon Hill
“As a Man Thinketh” James Allen
“The Science of Getting Rich” Wallace D. Wattles
  “The Success Principles” Jack Canefield
“You were Born Rich” Bob Proctor
“The Silva Mind Control” Jose Silva

3.  I picked out the character traits of successful people that I wanted to adopt into my life and began to apply them immediately.  Some character traits included:
Quick and accurate decision making
Self disciplined
Compassion
Empathy
Self confidence
Positive attitude
Self motivated
Taking action 
Passionate about my life and work
Willingness to help others
Recognizing and using resources
Doing more than I was paid to do
Desire for self growth
Truly listening to others
Being intuitive
Taking responsibility for my results

4. I added many affirmations into my meditations to enhance my self confidence and self worth.

5.  I reflected on my daily events each night to decide what times I was happy and what times I wasn’t.  I wrote all of my happy moments in my journal. As I started thinking about my happy moments, more happy moments began to appear.

6.  I realized that although people meant well in giving me their thoughts and opinions, it did not serve me to live a life that was not my own. 

7.  I began making my own decisions WITHOUT asking for the input of others.  If others criticized, gave an opinion, or gave advice based on my decision without being asked, I would say “I appreciate your opinion, but I would appreciate your support even more.”.  They usually stopped talking, walked away, or changed the subject.

8.  Slowly but surely, the more I believed in myself, what I studied, what I wrote, and what I applied, the more I watched my true life begin to unfold.