How To Get "In Flow"

Have you ever had that feeling of going through a difficult task with complete ease?   

Or, upon completion of a project you realized that having been entirely engulfed in the process, you lost track of time and were “in the zone”?  Well, this is what is known as “flow”.

As stated in Wikipedia, “Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.” 

Flow is a word that is often used in the personal development/ personal growth worlds, sports, art, music, or when doing pretty much anything that involves full attention or creativity.  It is a state that people strive to achieve without, many times, completely understanding what it is. 

So, what would someone experience being in flow?

• Heightened energy and control
• Being completely “present”
• Full focus, clarity, and concentration
• No concept of time or space
• Productivity 
• Creativity
• Happiness

Wow, who wouldn’t want to feel like like?!  It’s almost as if the world moves to assist the completion of a task in an effortless and enjoyable way!  

How to achieve flow in your life

Now that we have discussed what flow is and what being in flow looks like, let’s talk about how to make it a part of daily life.  Know that getting in flow takes a deep level of concentration, so these helpful tips will have to be practiced. 

Tip 1: Choose a challenging task- When choosing a task, allow your mind to be challenged. Being challenged is that place in between ease and overwhelm.  You don’t want your mind to be taken over by discouragement due to difficulty, or boredom because of ease.  The point is to choose a task that requires concentration and focus so to encourage flow.

Tip 2:  Commit to the completion of the task- After choosing a task at the appropriate challenge level, commit to it’s completion. Only you have the power to commit and complete.  Dedicate your mind and focus to do what you set out to do.

Tip 3:  Give yourself space and time- Only you know when and where you are the most productive and your energy is the highest.  My times are in the mornings, and my place is a local library. I LOVE the peaceful feeling I have when I sit next to the floor-to-ceiling windows in solitude.  I wake up with a clear mind, meditate, go to the library and begin a task. When I am in this frame of mind and have the feeling of calm and peace, inspiration and flow comes very easily! My worst times are right before lunch or right when I get home from work.  What about you? When and where do you have the highest levels of focus and concentration?

Tip 4: Remove distractions:  When obtaining flow, one needs optimal levels of focus and concentration.  Anything that may distract you from the task at hand needs to be temporarily removed.  This includes cell phones, email pop ups or alerts, television, clutter (mental and physical), to-do lists, and music (unless it helps you concentrate).  The point is to “get in the zone” and “lose yourself” in your concentration.  

Tip 5:  Become aware:  When overtaken by flow and your challenging task is completed,  sit back and become aware of the experience.  Are there moments you have forgotten? If you were writing, did you reread your piece and think “Man, this is really good!” without remembering how you put it all together? Same with a project, or art work, or even cleaning!  Try to be consciously aware of how the task was completed.

Tip 6:  Praise yourself:  Allow yourself to take that big sigh, and tell yourself that you are a genius! Sit back and really soak up the feeling of productivity and accomplishment!

The Art of Being Present

“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” 

 ~Buddha

How many times have you been driving only to realize that you have no idea how you came to be where you are?  How often have you devoured dinner only to look at your almost empty plate wondering how it got that way?  Think about how many times you have met someone new only to have forgotten their name five minutes later.

There is no denying that life is busy and that our minds take us elsewhere.  In fact, most people spend more time thinking about their past or future than they do about where they are at any given moment.  Unfortunately, this creates an inner world of chaos that makes it almost impossible to live a completely happy and peaceful life.  

Let’s talk about the problems with focusing on the past and future.

THE PAST:

I have never been one to sugar coat anything so I am just going to come right out and say it... STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PAST. When you focus on the past, you think about things that can not be changed.  The past is over, done with, complete, no longer existing. I know that may seem harsh, and yes, the past can many times leave scars. But the problem is that if you continually think about the past, then you will miss the present.  You will be so focused on either the sadness or greatness that has already taken place, that you will not notice the opportunities right in front of you. If you do not notice present opportunities, then how can you evolve?  

Yes, it is important to learn from past mistakes, but that is all it should be...learning.  Reflecting is different than dwelling.  Reflect, improve, continue the journey.

THE FUTURE:

I love the thought of the future just as much as the next guy.  The visions, the opportunities, the possibilities! It get me excited just thinking about it! I am not saying to completely stop thinking about the future because I know that visualization and having a clear and definite plan is key to success.  I am going to say, however, to not let those thoughts completely consume you to where you may miss an opportunity.  

The future, unfortunately, is not guaranteed. Many times plans will change, goals will change, LIFE will change.  It always seems that right when we have things the way we want them the unexpected will happen.  Nothing is ever certain with the future. 

_______________________________________________________________________

What is the deal with being present?

THE PRESENT

So, now let’s talk about the awesomeness of being in the present!  Being present means more than just focusing on the here and now.  It is a type of consciousness and awareness.  Being present is noticing your space, your time, your surroundings, your moments.  It is appreciating each second, remembering that those are seconds of your life that you will never get back.  

As I went for a walk today, I made a point to be present and notice if others were being present as well.  I began my walk with noticing a mother raking leaves with her two children.  Although this is a dreaded chore to some, the three seemed to be having fun with the task. The mother spoke to her children about their day and genuinely asked questions and listened to answers.

About a half mile later, my awareness focused on the rest of my surroundings. I noticed the sounds of birds, my footsteps, my breath, and my dogs heavy panting.  I gazed in awe at the sun blazing through the clouds, the sky, and the amazing mountains. I felt the muscles in my body working to move me faster. I thought about how amazing the human body is and how everything works in just the right ways. It was as if my consciousness had shifted.  It felt as though my senses were heightened. That walk was mine and I enjoyed my moment in time.

To finish my walk, I passed the cute family raking leaves together again.  Only this time, the mother and her two children were lying in the pile they raked.  As I walked by I listened to their conversation.  The mother lifted the little girl up (she couldn’t have been more than 3 years old) in the airplane position.  While doing that, the little boy said to her, “Momma, I feel like I’m in a cloud”.  Their conversation continued on to what it would be like to fly in a cloud, how it would feel and what they would see. The family was completely engaged in their fantasy conversation.  By the time I fully passed, the three were lying there quietly looking at the clouds together, as if contemplating or visualizing their thoughts.

“WOW!”, I thought. What an amazing example of a mother being present with her children.  I’m sure she could have been thinking about twenty different things at that moment.  I’m sure she has bills to pay, rooms to clean, tasks to complete for work, or deadlines to make, but she made a choice in that place in time. Even if it was for that small moment, she decided to leave everything behind and shut everything off in order to dream about what it would be like to be in a cloud with her children.  She was there with them... not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. Her body was calm, her mind was relaxed, and I believe she experienced what it was like to be still.

TIPS ON BEING PRESENT:

Focus on your breathing- When you think about and focus on your breath, all of the stray thoughts in your mind seem to disappear.  You are then left with a clear mind and your awareness of your breath.  

Chew multiple times before swallowing your food-  While eating, chew your food a minimum of 30 times before you swallow. Your food should be a liquid or almost liquid by the time it goes down your throat.  Be quiet when you eat. Think about your actions. Appreciate the blessings that you are given.

Practice- Practice being quiet and listening. Listen to everything that is going on around you. If you are walking, stop for a moment and close your eyes. Really listen to everything that you do not notice when you’re not listening. Hear people, cars, birds, feet, wind, airplanes, trains, bikes, your breath, music, jewelry clanking.  Slow your thoughts and just listen. 

Become aware- Shift your awareness to your environment. Notice everything!  Many times our minds are so busy that our eyes miss the beauty of this world. We only see what is in our minds.  Become aware instead. Have a heightened aware of trees, grass, snow, clouds, mountains, hills, animals, love, feelings, etc. Really look around you.

Live with intention- Make your every action intentional. For example, If you intend and choose to have a conversation with someone, really listen. Put your own thoughts, ego, and agenda aside and truly be present and listen in that conversation. 

When you live with intention, you are doing things for a reason. Whether that reason is because it makes you happy, you are curious, or it brings you closer to a goal, you are still the person that makes that choice. Remember, if you intend to have greatness, make great choices.

So let me ask you this... How present are you?

Feedback

Until around the age of 30, I always had this notion that feedback was something negative.  Whenever I would receive feedback, or “criticism” as I thought of it, I would get very defensive and rarely listen. I always thought that someone was trying to rain on my parade or dismiss my hard work. I never stopped to think and reflect on how feedback could serve as an opportunity for growth.  Instead of being willing to RESPOND to the feedback I was receiving, I would REACT.

Feedback can come in many different forms, and may be given or received. It can also be perceived as positive or negative depending upon the angle that it is looked at.  Feedback may come as a situation, comment, body language, emotion, look, feeling, or action.  In order to understand how to use feedback to my advantage, the first thing that I had to do was to not take it personal.  I have learned that feedback is just a tool that is used to determine our effectiveness of any situation.  It shows us our strengths and where we need improvement.  Ultimately, it serves as an opportunity to evolve and improve.

I first began to change my thought process about feedback when I became part of a program called TLQP (Teacher Leader Quality Partnership) at a local college in the city where I grew up.  At this point in my life I had been teaching elementary school for six years (four of them being in the inner city), and being a part of this group was a great way to collaborate with supportive, like-minded teachers. This group was offered to teachers who taught in the city, and I always admired how these wonderful educators enjoyed finding new and innovative ways to be creative in their classrooms (despite the struggles, challenges, and lack of resources). Everyone truly had the best intentions for their students in mind, and the effectiveness of lessons, rules, and procedures were always a priority. 

Being a member of TLQP had the stipulation of developing a Learning Experience (LE).   A Learning Experience is an in-depth lesson or unit that was meant to be utilized in the classroom.  It consisted of, but was not limited to, core standards, engaging and challenging experiences for the students, assessments, technology, adaptable materials, modifications to reach all learners, and manipulatives.  Every member was required to develop, implement, and present their Learning Experience to the group as part of a peer review process.  This process was very structured and allowed for, what we called, warm and cool feedback.  Warm feedback was what the group praised and liked, and the cool feedback were clarifying questions the group had or suggestions that would be made that could improve the LE.  It was completely nonthreatening because my hard work was still being honored and appreciated, but I was also gaining insight and ideas that I had never thought of!  After my LE was peer reviewed and my revisions were made, I realized that without the feedback I received, my LE would not have been as great as it turned out to be in the end. 

Upon completion of my peer review, I began to reflect on others areas of my life. How many times had I been part of a different kind of “peer review”? How many times had I been asked clarifying questions only to snap back with rudeness or aggravation?  How many times was I given quality suggestions only to take offense and never implement them because I thought that someone was just trying to telling me what to do or control me?  How many times could my life have been improved if I had just internalized and considered the feedback that I was given? 

Now my life is much different.  I now look for, notice, and embrace feedback because I know that without feedback I cannot improve my life and grow.  I want people to know me, and I want to know them. I notice facial expressions and body language, and I adapt myself and the energy that I am putting out there accordingly.  If I expect a certain outcome, I look at how I am portraying myself and what information I am giving to the world. My feedback will surely tell me. I now want people to ask me questions and understand what stand for, and I choose to understand them. 

I have also learned to embrace suggestions! I know now that suggestions help me to see things as I might not otherwise have seen them.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are many suggestions that I have considered and realized were not for me. But, on the other hand, taking some suggestions have recently led me down roads and allowed me to gain results that I would never have experienced otherwise.  

I suppose, to sum things up, I have learned that being open to feedback will never be a negative thing.  It can surely tell me a lot about myself, my environment, or if I am headed in the right direction.  The matter of importance is noticing the feedback, and responding to it, as opposed to reacting.

What is your feedback telling you?

Living by my values

During my journey, one of the most defining moments was when I listed and began living by my core values. When considering my values, I had to determine what was the most important thing to me at that moment in my life. You see, values will change as you achieve goals, get older, or reevaluate their importance.  They are what you can always look back on to see if you are truly aligned with the life that you desire. When I was not intentionally living by my values, I did not know why I was doing certain things nor did I have any real motivating factors.  To put it bluntly, I was just floating through life with no real direction. Once I knew and lived by my values, I was able to make all of my decision based on them. Life began to get very easy because there was no confusion or questioning if things were right or wrong.  When making decisions on relationships, business, activities, events, and everything that had to do with day to day life I would think back to my values. If the decision was aligned with my values I would move forward, and if they were not then I would know that it was not the right choice for me.  Once my values were determined, every goal I made had a purpose and every opportunity that I chose to act upon moved me closer to those goals.     

In determining my core values, I first decided to categorize the different areas of my life.   I needed to decide what I was going to focus on first whether it was career values, relationship values, family values, spiritual values, wealth/money values, quality of life/personal values, or health values.  Knowing that all areas are important, I had to determine what was the MOST significant at this stage in my life.  I had to ask myself, “What do I really want? What is important to me right now, at this moment, in my life?” 

I decided to begin with my personal values and realized that many of these values carried over into every area of my life.  As I wrote down my values, I also added a few sentences describing why that value was of the upmost importance.  I was also able to combine certain values by doing this.  Here are a few of the values that I began with:

1. God- Having faith and knowing that God is always with me allows me to see the trials and challenges in my life as opportunities for growth (not just my successes). 
2. Meditation- Meditation allows me to have a sense of clarity and focus.  It keeps me calm and positive, seeing only possibilities and opportunities.  It is through meditation that I form and visualize my grandest visions.
3. Success- Success, to me, means adding value not only to my own life, but to the lives of others. I consider myself successful when I inspire and empower others to live up to and reach their full potential.
4. Personal Growth and Development- Continuing to grow and learn more about myself will, in turn, add value to everyone around me. It enhances my mind, spirit and confidence. The effects of personal growth and development are self reflection, openness, and taking responsibility for my life and its outcomes. When I become better, I attract better people, situations, and circumstances.
5. Authenticity-  Being authentic helps me to spread my message in a way that is comfortable to myself and others. People notice that I am compassionate, genuine, empathetic, respectful, willing to communicate and be of service to others. Being authentic leads to quality relationships which, in turn, leads to partnerships and collaborations towards the greater good of all.

Easily listed, these are my personal values:

God

meditation

vision

success

add value

inspire

empower

personal growth and development (living up to my fullest potential)

self reflection

openness

taking responsibility

authenticity

compassionate

empathetic

respectful

willing to communicate

service

quality relationships

Each bolded word is a value that I choose to live by.  I make choices and decisions based on these values because this is what I stand for and they are what is important in my life.  Interestingly enough, once I developed my list of personal values, I realized that these values carried over into other areas of my life.

What values do you live by?

De-clutter

As I was beginning my journey and looking for more simplicity, something that DESPERATELY needed to be done was de-cluttering my life.  When I say de-clutter I don’t just mean that I had some clothes on the ground of my bedroom or some bubble gum wrappers in my truck (which I did). I truly had to go through every area of my life and make room for the universe to bring me better.  You see I was holding on to things.  Mentally, physically, and emotionally I had junk piled up farther than anyone would be able to see.  How did I let it get so bad? Why did I continuously add to the buildup? Well, I suppose I thought that keeping certain feelings, thoughts, and physical items would keep me in control of my life.  I knew those things, I felt comfortable with those things (even if they didn’t serve me), and I thought I could control those things.  Another reason was because I had a shopping addiction.  I loved to shop because it made me feel good coming home with new things. The problem was that  I WAS EXPECTING THE “THINGS” TO KEEP ME HAPPY.  I never stopped to think of why I wasn’t happy without new “things”. I was genuinely convinced that shopping and obtaining new items would keep me happy.  Boy was I wrong!  It is quite the contrary actually. Holding on to things left no space for great things to come my way.  The old items, feelings, emotions, and thoughts literally put up barriers forcing any greatness to a halt. 

Once I made the choice to clean up my life I began slow and easy with my external world.  I knew that I wanted my life to be organized in every area and for everything to have its place. Once I began cleaning my external world, my internal world followed. You see, I started to feel good! I felt good about the letting items go, giving to the needy, the order of my new world, the appearance of things, and the space that was created.  When I felt good, I attracted more good! 

What did I do? 

(WARNING: This is time consuming but will completely pay off in the end!)

Bedroom/Closet

1. I bought a label maker.
2. I bought containers for my shoes, hats, toiletries, belts, bags, and anything else that might be lying around my closet.  On each of those containers I had a label for what belonged there. Check out http://www.containerstore.com  for some great organizing ideas! 
3. I went through my closet and dressers discarding any clothes, shoes, socks, hats, bags, bathing suits, and anything else that I had not worn or was not interested in keeping. (Three bags full went to the goodwill) 
4. I organized my closet by color beginning with dark colors and transitioning to lights.
5. I bought all white hangers so everything looked the same.
6. I moved my bedroom furniture around.  Check out http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/applying-feng-shui-principles-to-your-bed.html  for the feng shui suggestions.
7. I cleaned out under my bed!! I didn’t realize how much junk was under there.  I had old papers from college, ex-boyfriend boxes, and random knick-knacks that served no purpose.
8. Finally I dusted, windex’d, vacuumed, cleaned every screen on my windows, and lit a few candles.  

WOW did I feel good after that day!!

Bathroom

I honestly never realized what a pack rat I was!  

1. I went through the linen closet and threw away any products that I hadn’t used in the past six months. I made sure to check expiration dates for any other products that I decided to keep. 
2. I refolded and organized any towels and wash clothes.
3. I bought a stick on shower organizer for extra products that did not fit on my shower shelves.
4. I bought new, more natural, bath products that were better for my body and environment.
5. I cleaned out the medicine cabinet of anything that had not been used (checked expiration dates)
6. I bought small containers for my Q-tips, cotton balls, tampons (sorry boys), band-aids, and anything else that needed a place.
7. I scrubbed my shower and sink areas.
8. I cleaned the floors and mirrors.

Ahhhhhhhh, that felt great!

Office/Computer 

(During this time I was an elementary school teacher so it was very difficult to keep my desk organized)

1. I got a filing cabinet.
2. I filed all lesson plans by month and seasons.
3. I bought different size bins for storage of books, and supplies for myself and the students.
4. I labeled EVERYTHING.
5. I had the students clean out their desks as I cleaned out mine so we could all know the importance of being organized.
6. On my computer, I saved any files from college to a flash drive and deleted them.
7. I placed all documents on my computer into labeled folders.

Boy, I just felt better and better!  :)

People, Places, Things (Personal Life)

1. Any person that did not make me happy I either stopped talking to or had limited contact with.
2. I stopped watching or reading anything that had to do with celebrity gossip.
3. I did not associate with gossipers or naysayers.  I would much rather have quality conversations.
4. I watched what I spent my money on.  I only bought things if I needed them or was absolutely in love.  In other words, I didn’t buy things just to buy them.
5. I listened to uplifting music or music that focused on love.  I personally prefer R&B music so I listened to a lot of Jennifer Hudson, Musiq Soulchild, John Legend, and anyone else that had a good, clean, positive message to send out.
6. I stopped going out on the town and chose to go to the library (my place of peace) and study instead.
7. I completely stopped drinking alcohol. Many times when alcohol was involved I made very questionable choices and I preferred a clear, focused mind instead.  
8. I did more than I was paid to do at work. People quickly noticed and began to comment.
9. I reconnected with my God.
10. I began to take my life seriously.