Feedback

Until around the age of 30, I always had this notion that feedback was something negative.  Whenever I would receive feedback, or “criticism” as I thought of it, I would get very defensive and rarely listen. I always thought that someone was trying to rain on my parade or dismiss my hard work. I never stopped to think and reflect on how feedback could serve as an opportunity for growth.  Instead of being willing to RESPOND to the feedback I was receiving, I would REACT.

Feedback can come in many different forms, and may be given or received. It can also be perceived as positive or negative depending upon the angle that it is looked at.  Feedback may come as a situation, comment, body language, emotion, look, feeling, or action.  In order to understand how to use feedback to my advantage, the first thing that I had to do was to not take it personal.  I have learned that feedback is just a tool that is used to determine our effectiveness of any situation.  It shows us our strengths and where we need improvement.  Ultimately, it serves as an opportunity to evolve and improve.

I first began to change my thought process about feedback when I became part of a program called TLQP (Teacher Leader Quality Partnership) at a local college in the city where I grew up.  At this point in my life I had been teaching elementary school for six years (four of them being in the inner city), and being a part of this group was a great way to collaborate with supportive, like-minded teachers. This group was offered to teachers who taught in the city, and I always admired how these wonderful educators enjoyed finding new and innovative ways to be creative in their classrooms (despite the struggles, challenges, and lack of resources). Everyone truly had the best intentions for their students in mind, and the effectiveness of lessons, rules, and procedures were always a priority. 

Being a member of TLQP had the stipulation of developing a Learning Experience (LE).   A Learning Experience is an in-depth lesson or unit that was meant to be utilized in the classroom.  It consisted of, but was not limited to, core standards, engaging and challenging experiences for the students, assessments, technology, adaptable materials, modifications to reach all learners, and manipulatives.  Every member was required to develop, implement, and present their Learning Experience to the group as part of a peer review process.  This process was very structured and allowed for, what we called, warm and cool feedback.  Warm feedback was what the group praised and liked, and the cool feedback were clarifying questions the group had or suggestions that would be made that could improve the LE.  It was completely nonthreatening because my hard work was still being honored and appreciated, but I was also gaining insight and ideas that I had never thought of!  After my LE was peer reviewed and my revisions were made, I realized that without the feedback I received, my LE would not have been as great as it turned out to be in the end. 

Upon completion of my peer review, I began to reflect on others areas of my life. How many times had I been part of a different kind of “peer review”? How many times had I been asked clarifying questions only to snap back with rudeness or aggravation?  How many times was I given quality suggestions only to take offense and never implement them because I thought that someone was just trying to telling me what to do or control me?  How many times could my life have been improved if I had just internalized and considered the feedback that I was given? 

Now my life is much different.  I now look for, notice, and embrace feedback because I know that without feedback I cannot improve my life and grow.  I want people to know me, and I want to know them. I notice facial expressions and body language, and I adapt myself and the energy that I am putting out there accordingly.  If I expect a certain outcome, I look at how I am portraying myself and what information I am giving to the world. My feedback will surely tell me. I now want people to ask me questions and understand what stand for, and I choose to understand them. 

I have also learned to embrace suggestions! I know now that suggestions help me to see things as I might not otherwise have seen them.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are many suggestions that I have considered and realized were not for me. But, on the other hand, taking some suggestions have recently led me down roads and allowed me to gain results that I would never have experienced otherwise.  

I suppose, to sum things up, I have learned that being open to feedback will never be a negative thing.  It can surely tell me a lot about myself, my environment, or if I am headed in the right direction.  The matter of importance is noticing the feedback, and responding to it, as opposed to reacting.

What is your feedback telling you?